Tony and I are celebrating our 7 year anniversary of marriage today, January 9th. It’s hard to believe that 7 years will have passed since we said I do on that very cold, January day in the little chapel at First Baptist Dallas. It was a very exciting day full of celebration, love, and anticipation as I waited *patiently* for a little less than 5 years for the day I officially became his wife. The ceremony was at 2:30pm, and we were announced husband and wife, roughly 30 minutes from that minute. We walked down the aisle hand in hand, into marital bliss!
I just looked up “7 year itch” in google, as I’ve heard it many times before but thought it had something to do with boredom, giving up, or staleness. This is what Wikipedia said:
“The seven-year itch is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. The phrase originated as a name for irritating and contagious skin complaints of a long duration”
Isn’t that just a beautiful picture of love?!
Tony and I started our marriage off in Nashville, TN. I was just finishing up my last semester in school, and since he had just moved up to the area the summer before, he was working at Jersey Mikes (sub shop) just to have some sort of income coming in. He also picked up some sound jobs as he was trying to establish himself all over again in the Tennessee entertainment business. We made simple dinners (mostly of chicken or spam and rice), went on a lot of walks, and our date nights were mostly at home renting a $1 Red Box movie for the weekend. I graduated in May of that year, took a temp job at the music publishing company I had interned at, and the good Lord blessed me with a full time job in June in the music business industry. We went to Chipotle to celebrate.
Tony started to pick up more sound gigs, dropped Jersey Mikes and was able to focus more on the sound engineer positions. Eventually we moved to downtown Franklin, TN through a Craigslist ad and lived in tiny, yet adorable, loft above a dentist office right on the square. Tony built an island to go in our kitchen area, and shelves for our dishes. We didn’t have a dishwasher so we hand washed everything and had to wait for the hot water to build back up after about 20 minutes, or Tony would have to take a break because the way the roof line was, he was always in an awkward position. We indulged a little more on coffee dates, and trying to new restaurants as Tony started to build his resume in TN, and we were within walking distance of a lot of good stuff. We found a village (small group) through the new church we had been attending (Journey), and found community. Tony mostly worked at the Franklin theater on the square while also picking up out of town corporate or sound gigs, while I moved into a different position with the same company I had started with.
We moved out of our cozy little loft after about 2 years, and moved back into a regular apartment. It was the nicest places we’ve lived in since we moved to Nashville, and some good friends had moved into the same apartment (that’s how we found it), and were able to walk/drive over for visits. We got a dog! Tony had successfully established himself in the Nashville scene and picked up a lot more gigs, a lot of them out of town tours, or late night shows. I had found an amazing community/family from my work, and we had gotten to know our village group a lot more, enjoying the vulnerability and life sharing.
Just when it seemed like everything was going really well, we decided to make the move back to Dallas to be near family with our little one on the way. We moved in with my parents in January of 2014, and I had no job. Tony toured for 3ish months that Spring, and I cried a lot. We welcomed Nella in July of 2014! Tony had to re-establish himself in the Dallas market, taking more installation jobs. He got back in touch with a company he had worked with before moving out to Dallas and started to pick up more gigs through them. The good Lord, again, blessed me with a full time job that was 15 minutes away from my parents house, with wonderful people to work with. Tony picked up a few more freelance jobs, as well as out of town corporate jobs that allowed him to travel, even internationally. I received a promotion at my job and very happily accepted. We have been blessed again, as we were able to purchase our first home just 2 minutes down the road from my parents, two and half years since we moved back. Tony received a full time position at the company he had been working with since we’ve been back.
And here we are, 7 years later, in our first home, with our 2.5 year old daughter, and silly 4 legged fur baby.
Over these last 7 years, we’ve definitely had our share of arguments, disagreements, and difference of opinions. We don’t see eye to eye on every single thing, and I absolutely try to persuade him to thinking that my way makes completely more sense than his way. I’ve learned that I kind of really like things a certain way around the house (i.e. how to put dishes in the dishwasher, no shoes in the house). I’ve learned that I think it’s OK if I get upset about something with him but it’s just wrong if he gets upset about something with me. I realized I really don’t like when he goes out of town, even if he truly enjoys it and especially gets to travel to cool places…it was hard for me to be completely happy he had this opportunity. I’ve found out that I love eating out, while he loves a good home cooked meal. I’ve learned how to communicate what I was feeling instead of giving the silent treatment.
I’ve also realized I love going on walks before or after dinner just around our neighborhood. We learned we both really like good coffee and coffee shops. When we travel, chain restaurants are off limits and we love going to local spots to eat and when we are by the ocean, we have a rule of not eating any land animals. Only the freshest fish! We’ve started to read a chapter in Proverbs together at night before we go to bed and pray together. We like to tag team on Saturday morning making breakfast, I make the main meal and he makes the coffee, and other sides. We love watching crime tv shows together! We keep no secrets, no matter how small, big, dumb they are. We’ve learned to communicate in a way that the other person can receive and interpret. We’ve realized each other’s love languages. We love hosting and love to have people over for a meal or dinner party or holiday party. He truly enjoys my cooking and baking! We never go to bed angry. He is the most patient person I have ever known. His style has evolved, which has made it easy and fun for me to shop. We love to travel together and explore new towns/cities together. We’re really proud of our budget and plugging away at our student loans. We’ve encountered Jesus and His people in the most authentic way that we never have before. We’ve learned to be our own family, moving away from Dallas. We’ve learned marriage is WORK but so worth it.
I think it’s pretty safe to say there are no signs of a 7 year itch here. There’s a lot that we have gone through and learned in just a few years, and as we move forward into our 7th year I cannot wait to see how our lives unfold. As we are now responsible for a human (and animal) life, our lives have been changed once again and we are not the same as when we first got married. And our love for each other has truly grown since that moment in ways we didn’t know was possible. We absolutely still go through our struggles and differences, but WOW, the Lord is so good to us and to our marriage.
There is truly nothing better than being married to your best friend. So, my love, cheers to 7 years and here’s to 77 more!